凌風軒

順手send了Eason的新歌「無人之境」給一女生，隨後才發現歌詞是一位已有伴侶的男／女生的自白，訴說秘密地愛上另一位男／女生的苦楚…..

喂喂喂，誤會程度爆燈。

Edit:

看了他人的考證，歌詞更似是描述身為第三者的苦楚…….

喂喂喂，我都誤讀得好離譜。

Not not like them, but…. I don’t know…feel weird and tiresome.
Just wanna be in a different environment like in the I-house or dorm, maybe I can be more be myself.

But, as I checked, the rent there are hella expensive, almost a double of my current rent.

Ai…..

I don’t have any major with my housemates, as we still get along with each others.. *(refer to * in the bottom)

But this idea just pops up several time in my brain today…

Not that I don’t like my housemates, but I just suddenly feel tired of this kind of setting.

I always believe that people seek to understand others and be understood, but now, maybe for my age, I don’t really like being understood too much… Though I still feel thankful for Nova (my best friend and housemate) to help me out while I was struggling with my gf last time, and she wouldn’t be able to help me out if I don’t let her to somehow understand my feeling.

So I guess there is something more about this.

I know these two years of life would either bring me some decent close friends or reinforce our already friendship, but I feel doubtful on whether I want to have such a close relationships with them.

I like them, but i somehow want to keep a distance with them.

I may say and pretend that i don’t know that reason for such feeling, but I bet this is because I know that I am not a perfect person — is not a good boyfriend, get some bad and fluctuated mood sometime, can be super stubborn, is not as smart (and confident) as them………. and not having such a strength to change all of these bad characters.

I don’t want these bad characters to ruin how they see me and therefore our relationships, so I better keep some distance with them. I guess this is the reason behind of my tired or unesay feeling.

I will call it coward. Oh, I hate using such an straightforward word, but this fits, I guess.

Sign, don;t like being a coward for sure. =_=

Also, I kinda feel not so “syntonic” with them…..  but I think this is just the cover of the above feeling, though I really felt that way while we were shopping together on Black Friday. **

Don’t like being such a miserable (for thinking myself as a coward), so it’s time to do some more exercise tmr. Endorphin, Endorphin =D

I don;t think i will take the action to move out, but I guess such feeling with trouble me for a while.”

有人說，每天應把最少二十分鐘花在自己所喜愛的事情之上。

那刻我才突然發現，我其實沒有對甚麼新的事情有興趣。

打機固然好玩，但其實不甚有趣－－就像吃拖水青菜，填飽了肚子但心中仍舊有所欠缺，而那塊令人垂涎瑩剔透的肥豬肉仍在心頭掛啊掛啊的。

胡亂喜歡人嗎？有了女朋友便不要再來這套吧？再說這事兒絕對是沒事找事來煩，更休提那些無意義浪費掉的心機了。

老實說，有一個我喜歡又喜歡我的女友，我這個沒愛情便活不得的問題人類真可安息去了。

最後，還是那兩個老玩意浮於腦緒之上，翻翻書，寫寫字（或打打字），幾十分鐘便在愉快之中給我狼狼地燒掉了。

I came U.S for my higher education while I was 16. I failed, disappointed, retried, disappointed again, avoided, rethought, faced, came back, tried hard, and  I am now 23.

After 7 years, I finally get into the  school I once dared not to think about, the University of California, Berkeley.

Never give up, will keep fighting hard for my future.

Thank for the support from all of my friends in HK, my family and my Ceci.

I know that dad wants me to be a doctor, but sorry that,  I will only try hard to be a Doctor.

I have already chosen a extremely hard road to walk through, and I am determined to go as far as I can.

I am also not a good boyfriend, but I will keep trying to be one.

Again, thank all of you.

為了解開一條很尷尬(真的很尷尬)的問題，花了差不多一小時在網上研究自己的名字，電郵等會在Google上傳回甚麼樣的結果。所得不多，但卻給我尋回一些失落的文字，一些數年前的回憶。

一些結果引領我到老友阿劍blog上的思憶篇。他的文筆並不華麗取巧，樸實的用詞，平和的語氣配上極有條理的理據便足以令他取信於人。相反，我往時卻好於弄大斧，詞意不加以深究便寫在文章之中，唬無墨之輩或可，但卻教識者見笑。然而，今天恐怕了掄這板斧的力氣也沒有了。

無意巧遇五年前悼的霑叔片言，僅在此記錄當年所書。

「霑叔,知道你的突然離開時真的很震撼,香港又少了一魂一魄。直到今時今日,不文集的內容仍宛然在目,笑傲江湖一曲猶在耳伴,但人卻不在了,直教人唏噓不而。我們會永遠懷念你,願你在天國仍再譜仙曲,為天上帶來點點繽紛。天上再見。 from: Gary HK San Francisco, United States – Friday, December 10, 2004 at 08:57:34 (EST)」

天，我竟忘了極多中文的筆劃寫法！剛剛打算用要中文寫一篇”博”時，總要為片言隻語苦惱半天。如此下去，我只會變成一個能看不能寫的另類文盲。我曾說過中文造詣是我香江十六年生涯的最重要得著，但現今如不再痛下苦工，恐怕這條爛船連一斤釘也沒有了。

仔細想想，我的虛榮，急躁，懶惰和恐懼真是自己的大敵。我的急燥令我視打字書寫為折磨，懶惰使寫了一半便半途而廢，虛榮說服我不應放下身段去寫現在想寫也寫不出的普通文章，而莫名的恐懼叫多年來我不敢面對自己的退步。

我的英文是進步了，但失去的卻更加多。口中評論著誰的文章不值一看，誰的修為令人讚嘆又如何？痛省吾身才是應該！但願，我能重拾昔日對中文寫作的熱情吧。

In English, the majority can refer to the people that have already left our world. Once people step into this forbbiden realm, they would be immediately turned into a letter, a word or a sentence that soon to be fitted into the largest and longest collection throughout the time. No matter who he or she once was, they are now just merely a history. That’s life, and none of us can escape the fate of getting pasted. The moment of the ink sticking to the surface is never, and will never be, a elegant nor disgusting  process. It’s just how the world works.

In these years, a few ppl, somewhat somehow related to me, no longer allow me to discover their possiblity, no matter i will treasure this opportunity or not. Unnoticedly, portion of my world has faded away. And it is too late now.

But life is never about sorrow, since the people who are still dynamic, like you and I, are all granted the right to live as much as we can in every second we have.

Don’t be sad, my friend.

I am finally done with all of my exams, and the spring 08 semester is offically at an end. However, I am being to miss my professors. All of them are cool and kind to students. Professor Westerberg is extremely passionate with physics, and he can teach his subject in a attractive way. The physics 2A lab instructor Mrs McCarthy explains the material very clearly and her exams are easy (for lab section only). Well, she also has one additional character that no other in CCSF can ever replace: She is just beautiful! XD Macroeconomic professor Landes is humor and very care about his students. Although he gave us tons of reading materials, all of them are up to date and worth to read. Dr. Crockett allows his students learnt from error and appreciates their effort. He also has a good sense of humor, so laughing is common in the classroom. (In fact, all of my professors in this semester are pretty easygoing and laugh/smile a lot.) My favourite professor is Ms. Pogge, she is enthusiastic over teaching biology and organize the materials very well.

Life must be continued, and I am looking foward to meeting with my new professor in the coming summer. =)

Some people believe that just internet can fulfill all my entertainment need.

LOL, what a stupid assumption! Of course, this is not true and completely inaccurate. Currently, I’m in the school library, with nothing to do, and bored to die even I can use a very fast internet. Everyday, I do spend my time on internet for three stuffs – 1 email, 1 newspaper and 2~3 forums. The most important one is checking email, since my gf / classmates / professor use this to contact me; for the other two, they mainly help me kill my free time, an hour approximately. Wow, how much entertainment the internet provides me!

Simply, this is all about money (or about what Bill Clinton said… “It’s the economy, stupid!”).

I would love to go outside with my friends, eat something good, and visit museum. However, I just don’t have any spared money to spend on these leisures. Without income, merely the transportation fee is good enough to discourage me from leaving home! Thus, internet is the cheapest entertainment I can get, so I use it most frequently. But, it never means that I am sooo satisfied with just internet.

This is always common to see someone suggests the other to do something, since here is always some people lack sense……