凌風軒

I came U.S for my higher education while I was 16. I failed, disappointed, retried, disappointed again, avoided, rethought, faced, came back, tried hard, and  I am now 23.

After 7 years, I finally get into the  school I once dared not to think about, the University of California, Berkeley.

Never give up, will keep fighting hard for my future.

Thank for the support from all of my friends in HK, my family and my Ceci.

I know that dad wants me to be a doctor, but sorry that,  I will only try hard to be a Doctor.

I have already chosen a extremely hard road to walk through, and I am determined to go as far as I can.

I am also not a good boyfriend, but I will keep trying to be one.

Again, thank all of you.

為了解開一條很尷尬(真的很尷尬)的問題，花了差不多一小時在網上研究自己的名字，電郵等會在Google上傳回甚麼樣的結果。所得不多，但卻給我尋回一些失落的文字，一些數年前的回憶。

一些結果引領我到老友阿劍blog上的思憶篇。他的文筆並不華麗取巧，樸實的用詞，平和的語氣配上極有條理的理據便足以令他取信於人。相反，我往時卻好於弄大斧，詞意不加以深究便寫在文章之中，唬無墨之輩或可，但卻教識者見笑。然而，今天恐怕了掄這板斧的力氣也沒有了。

無意巧遇五年前悼的霑叔片言，僅在此記錄當年所書。

「霑叔,知道你的突然離開時真的很震撼,香港又少了一魂一魄。直到今時今日,不文集的內容仍宛然在目,笑傲江湖一曲猶在耳伴,但人卻不在了,直教人唏噓不而。我們會永遠懷念你,願你在天國仍再譜仙曲,為天上帶來點點繽紛。天上再見。 from: Gary HK San Francisco, United States – Friday, December 10, 2004 at 08:57:34 (EST)」

天，我竟忘了極多中文的筆劃寫法！剛剛打算用要中文寫一篇”博”時，總要為片言隻語苦惱半天。如此下去，我只會變成一個能看不能寫的另類文盲。我曾說過中文造詣是我香江十六年生涯的最重要得著，但現今如不再痛下苦工，恐怕這條爛船連一斤釘也沒有了。

仔細想想，我的虛榮，急躁，懶惰和恐懼真是自己的大敵。我的急燥令我視打字書寫為折磨，懶惰使寫了一半便半途而廢，虛榮說服我不應放下身段去寫現在想寫也寫不出的普通文章，而莫名的恐懼叫多年來我不敢面對自己的退步。

我的英文是進步了，但失去的卻更加多。口中評論著誰的文章不值一看，誰的修為令人讚嘆又如何？痛省吾身才是應該！但願，我能重拾昔日對中文寫作的熱情吧。

In English, the majority can refer to the people that have already left our world. Once people step into this forbbiden realm, they would be immediately turned into a letter, a word or a sentence that soon to be fitted into the largest and longest collection throughout the time. No matter who he or she once was, they are now just merely a history. That’s life, and none of us can escape the fate of getting pasted. The moment of the ink sticking to the surface is never, and will never be, a elegant nor disgusting  process. It’s just how the world works.

In these years, a few ppl, somewhat somehow related to me, no longer allow me to discover their possiblity, no matter i will treasure this opportunity or not. Unnoticedly, portion of my world has faded away. And it is too late now.

But life is never about sorrow, since the people who are still dynamic, like you and I, are all granted the right to live as much as we can in every second we have.

Don’t be sad, my friend.

I am finally done with all of my exams, and the spring 08 semester is offically at an end. However, I am being to miss my professors. All of them are cool and kind to students. Professor Westerberg is extremely passionate with physics, and he can teach his subject in a attractive way. The physics 2A lab instructor Mrs McCarthy explains the material very clearly and her exams are easy (for lab section only). Well, she also has one additional character that no other in CCSF can ever replace: She is just beautiful! XD Macroeconomic professor Landes is humor and very care about his students. Although he gave us tons of reading materials, all of them are up to date and worth to read. Dr. Crockett allows his students learnt from error and appreciates their effort. He also has a good sense of humor, so laughing is common in the classroom. (In fact, all of my professors in this semester are pretty easygoing and laugh/smile a lot.) My favourite professor is Ms. Pogge, she is enthusiastic over teaching biology and organize the materials very well.

Life must be continued, and I am looking foward to meeting with my new professor in the coming summer. =)

Some people believe that just internet can fulfill all my entertainment need.

LOL, what a stupid assumption! Of course, this is not true and completely inaccurate. Currently, I’m in the school library, with nothing to do, and bored to die even I can use a very fast internet. Everyday, I do spend my time on internet for three stuffs – 1 email, 1 newspaper and 2~3 forums. The most important one is checking email, since my gf / classmates / professor use this to contact me; for the other two, they mainly help me kill my free time, an hour approximately. Wow, how much entertainment the internet provides me!

Simply, this is all about money (or about what Bill Clinton said… “It’s the economy, stupid!”).

I would love to go outside with my friends, eat something good, and visit museum. However, I just don’t have any spared money to spend on these leisures. Without income, merely the transportation fee is good enough to discourage me from leaving home! Thus, internet is the cheapest entertainment I can get, so I use it most frequently. But, it never means that I am sooo satisfied with just internet.

This is always common to see someone suggests the other to do something, since here is always some people lack sense……

This semester is almost end, and I am gonna have my 1st final exam very soon. This is just a phy lab practice, which takes place 1 more hour after I started typing this blog. Overall, I have done very well in all of my classes. All of them (besides my English class, which should be sth between A and B) are solid As so far.

But I still feel pretty frustrated… Have come back U.S for almost half year, both of my speaking and listening skills are still crappy. Although I can understand the lecture most of the time, daily communication is still hard for me. Sometime I have to think twice before I speak, since I am still not used to “think” in English. Also, my writing is just okay. I have just had my honor paper back, and the professor (Biology professor!) pointed out tons of grammar mistakes for me. Lot of them are just silly mistake, like using past tense behind “to”, or having double verbs in the same sentence. Though the professor commented this is a good paper (and I should ask for help on grammar), I felt so embarrassed while I looked at her corrections. However, the problem with writing does not upset me so much because I know how to improve it. The most discouraging problem I had is speaking and listening, esp. the latter one.

It drives me kind of crazy, how come other HongKongese/Chinese can adopt the English-speaking environment quickly and easily (well, maybe I did not see how much effort they have put in…), and I am still struggling? Is this all due to my crappy ears? I want to and try to have my life (a good one) in U.S, but how can it be possible if I can never handle English well? No matter how many As I have, it won’t help me to survive here if I can’t speak or listen. I am able to and know how to be a good student, but be a good English student is much more difficult…

Well, I will try to figure it out anyway… never give up!

P.S I will be a biology mentor in the next semester, hope it can help my English communication skill simultaneously…

P.P.S every time I re-read my post, I find new grammar mistake..Orz

Dear all,

this is always good to have chance to type here, though I seldom treasure this opportunity. Hope all of you doing well. I will send this blog entry in email to inform other ppl about my news. (especially for my gf. China blocks wordpress, so I didn’t tell her about this blog.)

This have been a while from my last email update, which was sent out in last Dec. School has started for 2 months, and I do pretty well in most of my classes. I scored 9x in my Bio, Phy and Econ classes’ first exam, the results that I very appreciated. For my difficult Eng class, I got a disappointed C in the first reader response essay, but successfully stole a B in the second round.  Also, I turned it my first textual analysis essay last week, but the result is not known yet. An “A” is just too difficult for English, I will be glad to see something like B or B+. The lovely challenging midterm week will approach me a week later, and it includes a bio exam, a econ exam, a bio lab practice and a phy lab practice. Lot of work honestly, but I should be able to handle these stuff. Moreover, I am going to have an in-class evaluation essay for the fiction “Into the wild” as my warm up in the coming Thursday. This is a nice book to read, with lot of adjectives I have never seen/used/met though.

Also, I enroll the honor program for my Bio class. This makes my class more challenging, but I view it as a chance to improve myself. Though tough with no doubt, it should be funny. Simultaneously, I am spending part of my free-time to improve my English listening skill and looking for any conversation opportunity to speak. I think this is a good idea to improve my oral skill in order to hunt a on campus job in the next semester. I really want to save some money to buy a ticket visiting my gf. Missing her so much, I love ceci! <3

Oh, I forgot to mention that I got a driver license, but rarely have chance to drive. I will have more practice in the spring break, so you guys can have more confidence to visit U.S by the time.

Well, I thinks that all major updates u guy may be interested in, hope all of you have a good time in this brand new year. Good luck with your study or job, either earn a good grade or get promoted.

P.S I will never hesitate to let the whole world know that I love my Ceci so much! To my dearest Ceci, I love you! <3 <3

Best wishes,

Gary

1. I’m in US now.
2. I am living with my sis and her housemate.
3. I got a pretty good placement result.
4. I also added all the classes I need successfully.
5. So I can transfer on time if I don’t fail any class.
6. I have no more confuse in my major.
7. But I discovered my major may lead to a painful life.
8. So I will take MCAT I believe.
9. I passed my driving test.
10. My gf and I are still happy with each other.
11. I love Cecilia.

Someone click the “password reset” button in this site, so wordpress sent me an email to verify this.

um, please feel disappointed, since I am still using this blog..xD